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Dungeon Master (DM): For this
quest you must travel to The Drunken Unicorn, a
dive bar, and show your allegiance for The Rat
Queen, leader of Castle
Rat. They are playing as headliners in a
three band bill on St. Patrick's Day.
Player: Ugh. Amateur hour for drinking. Okay,
fine. I drive to the venue and try and find
parking. I roll … a 17 for parking. Nice.
DM: No, a 17 still fails. The parking lot is
tiny and packed full of cars. You circle it
three times and find two open spots: one with a
handicapped sign, and one with a sign saying
"Friendly's Bar Only, all others towed."
Player: Damn. Okay, any other parking lots
around?
DM: There is a pay lot behind the Green's and in
front of <menacing tone>
The Murder Kroger!
Player: Is it still the Murder Kroger since
the whole thing was torn down and rebuilt? Has
anyone even been murdered there lately?
DM: As far as I know no new murders have
occurred, but tales say that the new building
is stilln haunted by the ghosts of the
previously murdered, doomed to wander the
aisles forever looking for both bargains that
don't exist, and revenge! Some may have quests
to impart.
Player: Ignorning the now haunted, former
Murder Kroger, I walk towards The Drunken
Unicorn, waiting at the light to cross Ponce.
DM: The light changes and you cross the
street. As you near the other side, you notice
that there is a MARTA bus shelter with three
people waiting. Roll a Wisdom Saving Throw.
Player: 16!
DM: Success. As you pass the MARTA bus shelter
an inhabitant releases a cloud of foul
smelling cheap weed smoke. You wisely hold
your breath, but unfortunately your clothes
take 2 points of "weed stank" damage.
Player: Dammit, and I'm not even in the venue
yet. Okay, I walk up the street to the venue.
DM: When you get there you notice that the
entrance to the venue appears to be entirely
surrounded by parked cars.
Player: Is there a way to get past the cars?
DM: They are parked awfully close together,
and there is no walkway. For you, with walking
issues and a cane, you will need to make a
Dexterity check to move between cars.
Player: I search for a way to get past the
cars, and roll... 13!
DM: That's enough to succeed. Going towards
the Ponce-most side of the entrance, there is
a ten foot by three foot grassy area. You use
the grassy area to get past the cars. The
Drunken Unicorn itself appears to be in a pit.
The pit is made of concrete stairs that have
three rickety metal railings. The stairs are
half occupied by people sitting and smoking
cigarettes. You will need to roll a Dexterity
check to get down the stairs while avoiding
the seated smokers.
Player: Ugh, an eleven.
DM: That's enough to get down without falling,
but some smoker almost hits you with a lit
cigarette as they gesture in conversation. You
take one point of cigarette smoke damage.
Player: Is the cigarette smoke damage enough
to overcome the weed damage I took at the
MARTA bus stop?
DM: No. You still smell like you work at Fellini's.
Player: I think that will be fine for this
place.
DM: Once down the stairs, the door guy demands
proof of entrance.
Player: I show him the ticket on my phone.
DM: He scans it and passes you through to the
security guy. The security guy waves a
metal-detecting wand at you.
Player: I warn him that my hips are metal, and
gesture with the cane to show that it is metal
too.
DM: He asks if you are carrying a knife?
Player: No. Wait, he really asks that specifically?
DM: He does.
Player: Thata's ... concerning. I inform him
that I do not, in fact, have a knife.
DM: You pass into the venue. Roll a perception
check.
Player: 17!
DM: Although it has been years since you have
been to The Drunken Unicorn…
Player: Long before the Plague, I think!
DM: Yes. You notice that the floor, formerly
painted concrete, is now covered with a nice
vinyl laminate layer.
Player: Fancy. Can I locate a place to get a
beer?
DM: They have added a new bar at the end of
the concert room, in the little alcove at the
back. And there is a bar in the room to the
right of the entrance.
Player: I head to the right.
DM: This is a large, low-ceilinged room, about
25 feet by 30 feet. The room is about half
full of talking people. It is loud, but not
too loud. The lighting is dim, but not too
dark. Lining the walls are upholstered benches
built into the walls.
Player: I vaguely remember that from long ago.
Wasn't this a dance room?
DM: There is music playing, but not loudly. No
one is dancing. In front of the booth seating
are three tables. Each table bears merchandise
for one of the three bands performing tonight.
Player: I examine each of the tables.
DM: The first table is unmanned, but it bears
merch for a band called Leafblower. They have
a t-shirt, a CD, and some stickers. The second
table has a bearded fellow sitting at it. He
is looking at his phone and ignoring you. This
table bears merch for the band Dayglo
Mourning. They have a CD, a vinyl album, some
posters, and a t-shirt. Also on the table is a
laminated card listing some package deals ...
Player: (interrupting) Package deals?
DM: As in, buy a t-shirt and a CD and get them
for cheaper than just buying them separate.
Player: Oh, okay.
DM: At the third table stands a tallish woman
with long, straight dark hair. She is wearing
very tall boots and some sort of strappy thing
that looks like a one-piece swimsuit but
somehow covers less flesh. She gestures at the
merch for Castle Rat. They have a vinyl album,
two different t-shirt designs, a CD, and what
appears to be a catalog. Oh, and you can buy a
banner of a giant rat standing in front of a
castle.
Player: How big is the banner.
DM: It appears to be four feet square.
Player: Interesting. I examine the CD. Is it
the same as the vinyl album?
DM: Yes, it is a CD version of the same album.
Player: I ask the lingerie-glad merch girl,
"Do they only have the one album?"
DM: "Yes," she says, and indicates the vinyl
album, "on CD and vinyl."
Player: I already have that so I move on to
look at the catalog.
DM: It details some Castle Rat themed jewelry:
earrings, broaches, a belt buckle, pins, a
bracelet...
Player: Odd. But not what I am looking for.
I'll buy a t-shirt from the merch girl.
DM: You are able to get a t-shirt with a
picture of The Rat Queen for $30. Are you
going to put it on now?
Player: Well, I already have on my +1
Yob t-shirt, and I remember that I often
have an allergic reaction to the chemicals new
shirts are treated with, so I stick the shirt
in a pocket of my Carpenter Jeans of Holding.
DM: You stow the shirt in a pocket. Anything
else?
Player: I am done with merch, so I go to the
bar to procure a beer.
DM: One can of tropical themed Athenian ale
will cost you $7.91 with tip, on the card
reading machine.
Player: Damn. Beers at a dive bar are over $7!
DM: You could get a PBR for $4.
Player: Doesn't that require a Save against
Gassiness?
DM: Well, yes.
Player: Never mind then. I'll pay almost eight
bucks for a tropical themed Athenian ale in a
can, then head to the main concert room.
DM: You walk across the hall to the concert
room. It is fairly packed, and the first band
have just begun to take the stage. You see
three members on stage, and there are two more
band members on the floor in front of the
stage. All five members of the band appear to
be on the shorter side, and all have neatly
trimmed beards and all wear black baseball
caps, although each with different logo.
Player: Huh. A dwarf band?
DM: Leafblower play about 30 minutes of
punk-metal fusion.
Player: We used to call this "crossover".
DM: Indeed Leafblower does vaguely remind you
of Corrosion of Conformity back in the late
1980s. Roll a Nostalgia save.
Player: 5.
DM: You take two points of Nostalgia damage as
you realize that almost everyone else in the
room wasn't even born yet when you saw CoC
that one time back in the day.
Player: Ugh. They're all that young?
DM: The average person at this dive bar is
probably in their mid 20s. However, looking
around you catch the eye of another person
with a gray beard. He nods.
Player: I nod back. What is the band doing?
DM: The bass player, whose beard is shorn in a
sharp line, nods furiously and smiles as he
keeps the beat. The drummer flails around and
looks like he is counting to himself, in that
way that drummers have. The guitarist on stage
seems to be concentrating on his playing.
There is another guitarist standing on the
floor and you can barely see his head through
the crowd. Would you like to move closer.
Player: Given my leg problems and that I am
walking with a cane, it's probably safer to
stay back a bit.
DM: Ok. In addition to the guitarist on the
floor, there is a singer, also on the floor.
You can't really see him through the crowd,
but that is mostly because he never stays
still. He is constantly moving and yelling
into the microphone. Between songs he talks
about doing yardwork, and a fondness for weed.
The last song he introduces as the band's
"love song to smoking weed", but the lyrics
are hard to decipher through the yelling. If
you want, you can make an Intelligence check
to try to decipher them.
Player: I'll pass on the stoner wisdom, this
time.
DM: The band is decent for what they do, and
the songs are catchy enough. They finish their
set, and take down their gear. As they move
through the crowd, one of the band members
points at you and mutters something.
Player: Can I roll to listen through the crowd
noise?
DM: Go ahead.
Player: 9. So close.
DM: Actually, he Says, "Love the Yob shirt!",
so the +1 of the shirt applies, and you
succeed.
Player: I nod and smile.
DM: As he moves on you notice that the crowd
shifting around between bands has opened a
space along the wall, to stage right, where
there a shelf built into the wall at about 4
feet above the ground.
Player: Great! I move to secure a place near
the beer shelf, and I can put my cane on the
shelf and use the wall for support.
DM: No problem. You only have a short period
of time, perhaps 15 minutes, to wait before
the next band take the stage. As they do, make
a perception check.
Player: 12.
DM: The bassist, setting up on the side of the
stage closer to you, is the same gray bearded
dude you nodded at earlier. And the drummer
appears to be the bearded guy on his phone at
the merch booth.
Player: Cool. So this is an older band?
DM: Make a Local Music History Arcana check.
Player: 3.
DM: You haven't heard of Dayglo Mourning
before, but the members appear to be a little
older than average for this place. They take
the stage and make an unholy racket. This is
sludgy metal that is slow and dirty, the bass
wavering mightily. At times, the band gets
into a serious groove, all the instruments
almost hitting in a way that reminds you of
motorik, but a lot heavier.
Player: Cool.
DM: The bassist sings some songs with a deeper
growling voice, but the guitarist sings some
other songs with a high-pitched voice.
Player: Kind of like Yob, except two different
vocalists.
DM: Yes. The guitarist, especially, reminds
you of Yob's Mike Scheidt at his
higher-pitched moments. The band plays four
songs. Between the first and the second the
guitarist says, "During our soundcheck I
slammed the head of my guitar into this," he
reaches up and taps the hanging monitor amp,
"And now the tuning is messed up." Later he
says, "Let me get the guy who built the guitar
to take a look," and the bassist walks over
and looks at the guitar. As the band prepares
their final song, something happens to the
guitar.
Player: Can I see what happens?
DM: Not from your spot near the wall, but the
guitarist says, "Sorry everyone, but that's
it". And then the band begin taking down their
gear.
Player: Bummer. But I enjoyed their set so I
wander over to the other room to look at their
merch.
DM: The laminated sheet has payment
instructions for Venmo.
Player: Dammit, I don’t have a Venmo account.
I'm not going to set one up right now. I guess
I'll just go get another beer.
DM: You get another can of tropical themed
Athenian ale and head back to the concert
room. Your spot by the wall is occupied.
Player: Argh, lost my shelf spot too. Well, I
find a space in the crowd nearby.
DM: As you wait, the people who had your wall
spot leave. Roll a Dexterity check to get it
back before someone else moves in.
Player: 15!
DM: You successfully procure the spot by the
wall with the beer shelf. Dayglo Mourning take
down their gear, and there is some tuning
action going on.
Player: Well, there is nothing to do but wait
and sip my beer.
DM: You lean against the wall and sip your
beer, and the venue slowly fills up.
Eventually the Rat Queen comes on stage to set
up her guitar, and there is a cheer from the
crowd. However, after she is set up, she and
the band go backstage. The total wait between
bands is just over 35 minutes.
Player: I guess that's not too bad.
DM: As the band Castle Rat take the stage,
there is cheering from the crowd, with many
people "throwing horns" to show their
allegiance to heavy metal.
Player: I throw horns too, to show solidarity.
DM: Everyone seems excited. The Rat Queen
welcomes the crowd, and the band tear into Dagger
Dragger, the first track on their debut
LP. After that song, as the crowd cheers, the
Rat Queen explains some of the Lore of the
Band.
DM: You learn that Plague Doctor (bassist)
saved the Vampire (guitarist) from death with
a magic potion. A song or two later, the
Plague Doctor actually plays Resurrector,
the bass solo track on the album.
Player: Awesome.
DM: It turns out that the All Seeing Druid
(drummer) is someone the other "characters"
met while travelling through a portal of some
kind. That part is hard to make out over the
crowd noise and chaos of a concert in a dive
bar. The band do play Cry For Me, a
sort of ballad, and Red Sands, both of
which are standouts on their debut album. They
play a song, tell a little bit of backstory,
another song, more backstory. Etc.
Until the end, when the Rat Reapress walks out
with her scythe to fight the Rat Queen. Make a
perception roll.
Player: 14
DM: The Rat Reapress has a large papier mâché
rat head, a scythe of some sort, probably
plastic, and is wearing a sort of strappy
bathing suit that leaves a lot of flesh
uncovered.
Player: Oh. The Rat Reapress is the Merch
girl. Huh.
DM: The band plays and the Rat Reapress and
the Rat Queen fight, the Rat Queen pulling a
plastic sword out from somewhere behind the
amps.
DM: People cheer. The overall effect reminds
you of the campy action of pro wrestling, in a
way. The Rat Reapress is jeered, but in the
end she is victorious, as the Rat Reapress
slays the Rat Queen and flees the stage.
Player: Wow. Killing a singer at the end of
every show seems like a harsh way to not have
to pay them...
DM: But wait! The Plaque Doctor has more of
his magic potion, and he gives some to the Rat
Queen, who arises, grabs her guitar, and they
play more tunes.
DM: Their set lasts about 40 minutes or so,
and the crowd seems to get into it, and you
have to admit that the whole thing was fun.
Gain 400 XP.
Player. Yes! Next level here I come.... And
really, Castle Rat were fun in concert. Their
music is good if you like heavy metal, and the
whole shtick with the costumes and the sword
fighting really worked with the music. If you
like D&D and heavy metal, then you need to
go see them in concert. The album is good, but
the concert experience really ties it all
together. |
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