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Questions about Brendan EvilSponge

Q: Why are you called "Brendan"?
A: Mr. and Mrs. EvilSponge wanted to name their daughter Jennifer. However, on having a boy they settled with "Brendan".

Q: Really? So you are male. Are you single?
A: Unfortunately sponges are asexual creatures. We reproduce by budding off of our "parent". My parent, Squelishimous, named me Brendan so that i might have a better chance of fitting in to human society.

Q: So you're a "sponge"? Were you made by Dow Chemical?
A: No, i am "real" sponge. Mirriam-Webster defines my type of creatures as:

(1)an elastic porous mass of interlacing horny fibers that forms the internal skeleton of various marine animals (phylum Porifera) and is able when wetted to absorb water (2) : a piece of sponge (as for scrubbing and cleaning) (3) : a porous rubber or cellulose product used similarly to a sponge b : any of a phylum (Porifera) of aquatic chiefly marine lower invertebrate animals that are essentially double-walled cell colonies that are permanently attached as adults

Q: So what does it mean when you say that you are "asexual"?
A: From Britannica:

Asexual reproduction also occurs in sponges in various ways; the best known method is called gemmulation. Gemmulation begins when aggregates of cells, mostly archaeocytes, which, when they become laden with reserve food granules, are called thesocytes, become isolated at the surface of a sponge and are then called gemmules. These are expelled from the adult sponge and, in some marine species, serve as a normal reproductive process or, sometimes, as a means to carry the sponges over periods of unfavourable conditions when the adults degenerate; e.g., drought, temperature extremes. The freshwater Spongillidae undergo a slightly different gemmulation. Gemmules consist of aggregates of archaeocytes laden with reserve granules; in addition, however, they are surrounded by protective membranes formed by the archaeocytes. The protective covering is generally reinforced by spicules, which vary in shape according to the species and are useful in classification. Freshwater sponge gemmules allow a species to survive unfavourable conditions in a state in which vital activities are almost completely suspended. In cold regions, gemmulation occurs in winter, and the inactive gemmules are said to hibernate; in warm regions, gemmulation occurs in summer, and the gemmules are said to estivate. In spring or autumn when favourable conditions return, the gemmules germinate, their archaeocytes emerge through an opening (micropyle), the various cellular types differentiate, and a new sponge grows. Other methods of asexual reproduction include formation of stolons (rootlike extensions) and fragmentation of individuals. Copyright © 1994-2000 Encyclopędia Britannica, Inc.

Q: Why are you "Evil"?
A: A Freudian analyist once told me that it is because i wasn't hugged enough as a child. I have realized that he was correct! Sponges don't have arms, so hugging is not common in our species. This probably explains our general nasty and bitter disposition. And you know, i am a mature enough sponge to admit that i feel guilty that i ate the analyst who suggested this to me in the first place. But what are you gonna do?

Q: Where are you based?
A: I and my minions are based in Atlanta, Georgia, in the United States of America.

Q: Can anyone ask questions to Brendan?
A: Anyone can ask a question, whether or not i will respond is up to my mood at the time. And remember, if your question is interesting enough, it might get added here! Drop me a line here -- Brendan@evilsponge.org.


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