Questions about Brendan EvilSponge
Q: Why are you called "Brendan"?
A: Mr. and Mrs. EvilSponge wanted to name their daughter Jennifer.
However, on having a boy they settled with "Brendan".
Q: Really? So you are male. Are you single?
A: Unfortunately sponges are asexual creatures. We reproduce by
budding off of our "parent". My parent, Squelishimous,
named me Brendan so that i might have a better chance of fitting
in to human society.
Q: So you're a "sponge"? Were you made by Dow Chemical?
A: No, i am "real" sponge. Mirriam-Webster
defines my type of creatures as:
(1)an elastic porous mass of interlacing horny fibers
that forms the internal skeleton of various marine animals (phylum
Porifera) and is able when wetted to absorb water (2) : a piece
of sponge (as for scrubbing and cleaning) (3) : a porous rubber
or cellulose product used similarly to a sponge b : any of a phylum
(Porifera) of aquatic chiefly marine lower invertebrate animals
that are essentially double-walled cell colonies that are permanently
attached as adults
Q: So what does it mean when you say that you are "asexual"?
A: From Britannica:
Asexual reproduction also occurs
in sponges in various ways; the best known method is called gemmulation.
Gemmulation begins when aggregates of cells, mostly archaeocytes,
which, when they become laden with reserve food granules, are
called thesocytes, become isolated at the surface of a sponge
and are then called gemmules. These are expelled from the adult
sponge and, in some marine species, serve as a normal reproductive
process or, sometimes, as a means to carry the sponges over periods
of unfavourable conditions when the adults degenerate; e.g., drought,
temperature extremes. The freshwater Spongillidae undergo a slightly
different gemmulation. Gemmules consist of aggregates of archaeocytes
laden with reserve granules; in addition, however, they are surrounded
by protective membranes formed by the archaeocytes. The protective
covering is generally reinforced by spicules, which vary in shape
according to the species and are useful in classification. Freshwater
sponge gemmules allow a species to survive unfavourable conditions
in a state in which vital activities are almost completely suspended.
In cold regions, gemmulation occurs in winter, and the inactive
gemmules are said to hibernate; in warm regions, gemmulation occurs
in summer, and the gemmules are said to estivate. In spring or
autumn when favourable conditions return, the gemmules germinate,
their archaeocytes emerge through an opening (micropyle), the
various cellular types differentiate, and a new sponge grows.
Other methods of asexual reproduction include formation of stolons
(rootlike extensions) and fragmentation of individuals. Copyright
© 1994-2000 Encyclopędia Britannica, Inc.
Q: Why are you "Evil"?
A: A Freudian analyist once told me that it is because i wasn't
hugged enough as a child. I have realized that he was correct!
Sponges don't have arms, so hugging is not common in our species.
This probably explains our general nasty and bitter disposition.
And you know, i am a mature enough sponge to admit that i feel
guilty that i ate the analyst who suggested this to me in the
first place. But what are you gonna do?
Q: Where are you based?
A: I and my minions are based in Atlanta, Georgia, in the United
States of America.
Q: Can anyone ask questions to Brendan?
A: Anyone can ask a question, whether or not i will respond is
up to my mood at the time. And remember, if your question is interesting
enough, it might get added here! Drop me a line here -- Brendan@evilsponge.org.