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Malimus's Dreaded Year-End Lists

  
 
Top Releases of 2001:
 
  1. (tie) Collection and Gear Blues both by Thee Michelle Gun Elephant: Superstring theory posits that, at the heart of it all, the world is made of sub-sub-sub-atomic loops of matter/energy, vibrating in such ways as to create the fundamental building blocks of atoms (leptons, fermions, quarks and the like). The superstrings vibrate and resonate and jiggle their tiny little asses until the world is as it is. It all requires some 26 dimensions in which to do the dance of creation, and the math is a bit fuzzy down in the trenches, but in the end, it all works in theory. Thee Michelle Gun Elephant understand this on a visceral level, on an animal level, where instinct devolves into sub-atomic probabilities and your ass may or may not become a wave function if you stop watching it long enough. You may join me on the other side of it all, or you may not. That is you decision to make. Observe what you will. But just as assuredly as Dweezil Zappa's guitar wanted to kill your momma, Futoshi Abe's A chord wants to dismantle the world, and I'm not so sure he can't do it. Regardless, I'm along for the riot.

  2. Change by The Dismemberment Plan: Ladies and gentlemen, the best band in America. Try not to drool.

  3. Parachutes by Coldplay: Hmmmmm, let's check. Music to sing along to? Check. British accent? Yep. Oh, I know, they're mainstream and popular and get money for playing music, and all that stuff that you artistes out there never could manage to do, so they're not worthy. I know, I know. Whatever. Do you realize that Lennox Lewis sounds like he knows more than you do, just by means of his accent? That's right. The man makes his millions by beating other men unconscious, but when he speaks, he sounds cooler and more intelligent than you. Doesn't that just piss you off to high hell? Parachutes is a great album you overly pretentious fuck.

  4. Bring On The Snakes by Crooked Fingers: Do we need to review my unnatural appreciation of Eric Bachman? It's all on the site already, so just check the archives.

  5. Here's To Shutting Up by Superchunk: Here's to growing up, and old, and not missing the step between angry youth and knowing better than the kids. God bless Superchunk. God bless them, every one. I'll even forgive them Florida's On Fire.

  6. The Photo Album by Death Cab For Cutie: Um, I like music I can sing along to.

  7. Why That Doesn't Surprise Me by The Lucksmiths: I like music I can sing along to. I like that music even more, generally speaking, if I'm singing along with vocals that sound like they come from some corner of the Queen's former empire. Go fig.

  8. (tie) Things We Lost in the Fire by Low and In The Fishtank Volume 7 by Low with The Dirty Three: Two of those releases that slipped under the radar. The Pitchfork goons and the moppets over at FakeJazz are busy arguing over whether Things We Lost in the Fire is a worthy low album. It's Low. In the Fishtank is Low with The Dirty Three. Know the bands? Then you know what you're going to get.

  9. Mass Romantic by The New Pornographers: Hey, it's a Canadian super group that has neither Brian Adams nor any member of Loverboy. Can't go wrong with that, now can you?

  10. White Blood Cells by The White Stripes: Stripped down roots rock. Minor music, where "minor" is a reference to Gilles Delueze, not key signature. I'll not bore you with the details.

  11. Weezer (green album) by Weezer: Want to know why I hate Pitchfork? Read their review of this album. I actually listened to those bastards and put off buying this all year. I only just picked it up; using the obligatory Christmas gift-cards (the in-laws: they don't even try to buy music for me any more) I picked up some more mainstream stuff. After a couple of listens I conducted a test. I put both self-titled Weezer releases into the CD changer and hit random play. With only a couple of exceptions, the two songs from 2001's Weezer merged seamlessly into the songs from the debut. Pitchfork is a bunch of monkeys.

  12. Eight Balls in Reverse by Ultrababyfat: Mrs. Malimus would undoubtedly rank this a little lower, because she doesn't have the "want to see them naked" thing going for her. But I like this album a lot. Catchy guitar rock from hot women is difficult to beat in my world.

  13. Azure Ray by Azure Ray: Mrs. Malimus would undoubtedly rank this much, much higher, as it is one of her favorite listens. And for good reason, I might add. Sweet female vocals with Eric Bachman twisting the dials behind the screen. (Still, I prefer Little Red Rocket.)

  14. Southern Rock Opera by The Drive-By Truckers: Man, I wish I could rank this higher. After some 28 years of waiting for Patterson to finish the damned thing I really wanted to be blown away. Didn't happen, unfortunately. It comes across, at least to me, as a bit bloated, as if Patterson and the boys got a little too caught up in the idea of a double-album rock opera and forgot to cull the herd there at the end. Still, it's The Truckers, and there is Let There Be Rock to get you through any long hauls life might throw at you.

  15. Satellite Rides by The Old 97s: Solid twang-pop from an established twang-pop outfit.

  16. Les Moyennes des Folklore by Haricot Vert: These guys make the list more on promise and potential than anything else. You know, like Wilson Betemit. Les Moyennes des Folklore is a solid EP of Archers of Loaf inspired guitar work, combined heavily with influences from now defunct Atlanta math-rockers Purkinje Shift. I look forward to their next release. One day, perhaps, I'll drive in and see them live.

  17. The Essential (1974-1978) by Radio Birdman: Generally speaking, compilations and best-of mixes don't make end-of-year lists, but I like this one a lot. Radio Birdman was an Aussie surf-psychedelic-punk six piece, long, long, long before their time. Imagine if you will, The Penetrators playing roots rock with Jim Morrison's younger brother howling in front of them, all at a beach orgy south of Sydney. That might get you close to the Birdmen.
  
 
Top 5 "Others":
 
  1. The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring: Orc-smashing action! Better than the interminably never-ending book. Yep. I said it. It's better than the damned book, because it doesn't have one goddamned song in it. Tolkien couldn't write verse if his life depended on it.

  2. Moulin Rouge: Speaking of hoots! I reviewed this. Go read that for commentary.

  3. Shrek: It's a hoot! Talking donkeys rule.

  4. Chocolat: Gastronomic Footloose indeed. Mrs. Malimus and I rented this (it's cheaper than $7.00 per ticket) for a movie and dinner at home night. Find a date, boys.

  5. Momento - An excellent crime noir drama where the storyline is told in reverse. The only thing that could have been improved was the lack of Carrie Anne Moss nudity. Otherwise it was extraordinary
  
         
 
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